The Most Magical Person I Know At the Most Magical Time of the Year

This is the season of Magic. There is so much Magic with Christmas. It is a time when the Spirit of giving, the Spirit of love, even the Spirit of Charity moves ever forward in the hearts of those who will let it. There is Magic in music and singing. There is Magic in the mystery of Santa Clause. There is Magic in Believing. There is Magic in Service and love. There is Magic in celebrating. There is Magic in amazing decorations. There is Magic. There is Magic.

I had the most Magical experience this weekend as I got to spend time with the most Magical Person I know. My 83 year old Granny, Renee Adams, is the definition of Magic. She is by far my favorite person on this planet. And being with her for any period of time is a gift. She is fiercely independent - and for an 83 year old woman, this is a thing to behold. She participates and maybe leads a great little group of Octagenarians plus called the 'FHE or lunch bunch'. They go to lunch and hold Family Home Evenings together. My Granny is one of the few drivers left in the group. She thinks on these women and cares for these women and worries about these women and takes so much from being a part. Just like she thinks on and worries for and cares for me, and all the rest of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

This weekend we had tickets to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert on Friday night. My Granny made reservations for us to stay at Little America (myself, my parents and she) so we would not have to try to go home so late and could arrive downtown early. She is slow to walk and needed some extra time going in and so we got to the conference center 2 hours before the event began. And while I made funny complaints, what a blessing this was. I got to watch the magic of this woman in full force. She is incredibly social and can talk to anyone. She chatted with everyone around us - learned she was a neighbor to a cousin of the couple next to us, learned the group in front of us were hungry and unsuccessful in trying to obtain food from anywhere near the conference center. She saw an old friend - who was so delighted to see her - who came over and I watched and listened to my cute Granny check in with this woman - remembering so many details about her and delighting in the opportunity to catch up. My Granny is magic.

She lives in the moment and reacts in the moment. She ooohed and ahhed at all of the amazing parts of the concert. As we walked around, she reacted audibly to beautiful decorations and feelings of love and beauty. President Monson and President Uchtdorf were in attendance that night and when they walked in and the crowd rose and quieted to silence, my cute, short Granny stood as tall as she could on her tip toes to catch a glimpse of the Prophets forehead. Those moments of silence and that feeling of love and deep respect in a crowd of that size quieting to silence in the blink of an eye is always one of my favorite moments of any event which our leaders attend. Granny felt it too as she looked at me with her eyes welling with tears and whispered, That is respect' 'such respect'.

After the concert, my Dad and I ran to get the car and drove to pick up my mother and cute Granny and we drove the few blocks to our hotel. We changed into our pjs ordered a feast from room service and had a late night amazing dinner. We talked and laughed and enjoyed together - just my Granny and I. We were up late...and were surprised to have an alarm go off at 6am. And then couldn't go back to sleep so we laid in our respective beds chatting and talking. She told me magical stories about her life. She is so real about her life. Seeing the imperfections, but recognizing so fully the Lords hand in her life and His tender mercies. She began thinking of my Grandfather who died in 1992...about the Christmas after his death when my parents flew her to Arizona to visit the warmth and how the warmth of being there with our family was such a blessing to her. I remembered it well, as I received my Patriarchal Blessing that Christmas and was so grateful she could attend. She began remembering things about my amazing Grandfather. About his imperfections, his trials and his redemption in this life. Stories I had never heard. Beautiful musings of her incredible life. She listened intently to me talk about my life concerns and worries. We talked for hours and hours....and therein is the greatest Granny magic of all. When you are with her, you feel like you are the most important person in the world to her. She gives you her full attention. She cares about what you care about. She is glad to be in your company. She greets everyone with love, she parts from everyone with love. I love to watch her greet people who come to her house - she hugs and kisses and shares a moment unique to her relationship with THAT person with each person. She usually offers an immediate compliment when she first sees you...and it is so very genuine - you don't notice or remember that is the way of her magic....to see the best of you. And that she does, she is real and can empathize and help but she sees the best in everyone. She sees potential. She has the truest charitable heart.

There is so much more to her - she is so funny...and I can not count the number of times I have laughed so hard I cried with her. She is a crazy good cook and wants to feed you...always. She is a master at the details. She is a fine and elect lady. Her home is a sanctuary. It is how every home is meant to feel. Love, love of God, peace, tranquility...love, love, love. It is my favorite place to visit - it a favorite place to visit for so many. She is a good neighbor, a good citizen, a good friend, an amazing mother and grandmother. She is Magic.

There are not words enough to express my great love for this woman. I can not express how proud I am to be her eldest Granddaughter or how my heart swells just walking around with her on my arm. How blessed I am. She is the most Magical person I know.

PS - Pictures: At the top: Granny and I in 1995 (love my bangs!) going to the Glenn Miller concert evening - what fun!

Middle: This weekend at little America - (not loving my double chin!)

Middle 2: Obviously, her wedding to my Grandfather. I once asked her if she would ever marry again after my Grandfather had passed away and she looked at me like I was nuts, touched her wedding ring - and said - "I'm married. He is just waiting for me somewhere else." I've never forgotten that. That is eternal love. She still wears her wedding ring.

Bottom: Chilling in Oahu, Hawaii. There are so many facets to this amazing woman - there is no way to capture them in all in words or pictures.

Who Needs Sleep?

BNL sang it. "Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it" Please no. I need sleep. I need it bad.

I can't sleep. Seriously. I can't. I have developed an inability to do this simple thing and the repercussions are traumatizing.

I get sinus headaches. Twice a year, I get them A LOT - the rest of the year - just sometimes. I have glorious medicines that make them go away - but they take a minute to do their magic. At night, especially during change of seasons, my head gets fogged with ear-popping sinus ickiness - and it is difficult for me to lay my head back to sleep. I have to sit up so my head is in the 'draining' position. Which is fine for a while, then my back doesn't like it, then I fall off my tower of 'prop up' pillows, then I wake myself up, because I can't breath, then I move to a different location in my house - I go from bed to couch, to couch, to floor, to chair, to bed. I get up so many times in the night - sometimes I can't count. Sometimes I wake up at 3am and know its frivilous to try to go back to sleep, so I just get up and wander around my house. I'm sick of my house - it has become a weird prison of dark sleeplessness. TV is my only friend. It might seem better if I could use my 'awake' time for something productive - but I am a zombie from exhaustion. I hope I don't start attacking people.

I'm pretty busy at work - and the lack of decent sleep makes it hard to focus. Its hard for me to find my most productive work zone. Everything seems to take longer. I get so tired in the middle of the day - I fight it. I refuse to leave work to try to sleep - which is probably stupid - but I have a jumbled zombie mind. I do sleep okay in the daylight. Wait...maybe, I'm actually a vampire. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe thats not true - it just seems like I can sleep better in the daylight - because I only do it - when I'm flat out - can't-keep-my-eyes-open - exhausted.

I've had these sleep issues for a long time, I don't ever remember them going on so long or feeling this exhaused. I'm feeling angry and miserable quite more than I should. I am quick tempered and not nice and I'm catching myself feeling paranoid? and more lonely than normal. My coping skills are at an all time minimum - I'm having complete break downs at the most ridiculous things. I've lost all strength and independence. I have become a whiny, small child -- wandering aimlessly in my darkened house. See how dramatic that description was? Yeah...its bad. I'm whining. I'm a zombie. I'm not myself...and I haven't been for longer than a few hours in weeks. I need to sleep!

Sleep, it turns out, is necessary and good. I wish I could do it for longer than 45 minutes (okay maybe its more like 2 or 3 hour spurts - but its still too short!)

I'm going to look for a wedge pillow - that I'm hoping has magical healing and sleeping powers.

Halloween is over. Zombieness go away.

I'm really tired.

The End.

The Joy of Bulbous Burgers

bul·bous adj \ˈbəl-bəs\
Definition of BULBOUS
1: having a bulb : growing from or bearing bulbs
2: resembling a bulb especially in roundness

First, let me say that I was typing too fast and spelled this word wrong over text last night and got my spelling corrected pretty quickly and succinctly. Confession: I know how to spell this word. I do. I just had never slapped it together with with my beloved burgers before.

Second, can burgers be bulbous? "Resembling a bulb - especially in roundness"? I'd say so..if you stack 'em correctly with all the right goodness.

Third, I hereby decree my love of burgers - all kinds.

I can't remember when it started - but I know it has been helped and perpetuated by my fun family. In 1992, for my birthday, my parents brought home the largest sacks from Wendy's I had ever seen and we all had my favorite fast food meal. Single with cheese, no pickle, no onion. (Really, a number 1 with cheese, with no pickle, no onion). Which in 1992 cost $3.07 for the combo (burger, fries and a soda). In 2011, it costs over $7! (I obviously don't go there much anymore) Ah, inflation.

I have always loved burgers, and if you've seen me, you know - I am both in love with them and hate them - as they are one of the primary reasons - I need and want to lose many, many pounds. They become the bane of my existence as they tempt me continuously when I'm trying to be healthy...and while I do love a good turkey burger..the meatless numbers do NOTHING for me and just make me want the real deal all the more.



There really is great joy for me in a good 'bulbous burger'. Bulbous would indicate all the right fixin's. For most of my life, I thought I hated onions...then one day a few years ago - I suddenly thought they tasted like candies and onions became a new obsession. But, I did have to work through some of the ins and outs of onions - as they are pretty overpowering and can leave lasting marks (read: stinky breath, forever long aftertaste). So, I'm a take it or leave it where onions are concerned on a burger. I am a no on the pickles. I don't hate the taste of dill pickles...ironically, I LOVE DILL (thank you cute Granny for giving me purse size dill for my birthday!). But, I don't love dill pickles either - plus I think the taste can overpower the other phenomenal burger components that can satiate. So a no on dill pickle - but a yes on sweet relish. I do love some relish - especially on a good home grilled burger...especially one grilled by my Dad or my brother-in-law. Thems good stuff.

Ketchup is a definite yes, mustard in small quantities - for same overpower ickiness as pickles and onions. Mayo - help me - yes. Cheese - yes - Cheddar or American or Swiss or Provolone or Mozarella- or even Jack - not blue, though - none of the real stinky cheeses - don't want to just taste cheese. Avocado brings goodness. Mushrooms - yes...now grilled mushrooms and onions...with a few peppers - on a burger - divine! (Grill that overkill quality right out of those onions!) Lettuce - yes. Tomato - yes - qualifier - must be a good tomato - not too squishy or unripe. A bad tomato can sap the joy right out of it.
You really can put just about anything on a burger. If you have ever seen Man vs. Food on the travel channel, you've seen the atrocities and unexpected delights. Adam Richman has eaten everything on a burger across the country. And taken many challenges to do so. In fact when the show came to Salt Lake City, he visited a Crown burger and had a ...Crown Burger. (I'm not a fan of pastrami on burgers...is it a burger? Is it a sandwhich?)One - that always sounded interesting, but so gross: Donuts. Donuts on burgers...hmmm...that maybe an overpower - but maybe not. I have a weird curiosity about it. Maybe someday I'll try it.

There are a ton of websites that you can see all sorts of burger concoctions...I happen to like the burger whisperer. And the top entry on Americas Best Online in the burger section is a place called the Shooting Star Saloon in Huntsville, Utah. Hmmm...maybe I should take a drive to Huntsville.

My favorite burger available in Utah for a great while - has been a chain restaurant. A chain! But, Ruby Tuesdays Classic Cheeseburger - is my kind of perfection. My joy in a bulbous burger! I was so sad when the one near me closed. And the nearest one is now up the canyon, (Read: not going there anytime soon). I recently found a way to enjoy Red Robin burgers...I HATE the Red Robin seasoning - on their fries, in their fry sauce and - on the burgers. If I ask them to hold that seasoning...joy is found! I'm a big NO on the In n Out Burgers - nothin to 'em? No Bulbous there. My parents have had a long obession with Burger King Whoppers and I do enjoy them, but not as much as so many others.

The OLD Challenges: I love a good taste test. Many, many years ago - at least a decade ago...my sister Crystal and I bought every kind of bottled water in the grocery store and had a taste test. We tasted all the water at both room temperature and chilled...to determine our favorite..and of course, my favorite was the most expensive - Evian. But, I created a ranked hierarchy. A few years ago, I travelled all around the Utah valley collecting sugar cookies and had a sugar cookie challenge with my dear Aunt Susan for her birthday. Ah, Hagermans, you have the perfect cookie for me. Last Summer, NatNel and I enjoyed a summer long vanilla ice cream cone challenge and this summer have taken on Sweet Potato Fries. I love a good Taste Test Challenge.

The NEW Challenge: Best Burger within driving distance - for real. Any recommendations? Who is in for the tasting? Who is in for working out with me more - so I don't increase in stature? And I may need to have my cholesterol regularly checked. MMMmmm. The Joy of Bulbous Burgers.

PS - Title and Topic of this post NOT of my choosing - but fitting and I do love burgers! Any other suggestions?

Do-Over

Do you ever want a do-over? A moment, a word, a conversation, an hour, an experience, a situation? I mostly only want a do-over when I could have done it better, when I screw it up. When I want to stop thinking about how badly something played out. I like to re-live scenarios in my head - where I handle things rightly, where I don't hear or say the thing I desperately wish I hadn't. In my fantasy do-overs, no one gets offended, no one walks away wondering, everyone has closure, everyone understands, and no words leave permanent marks. I often regret seeking to be emotionally understood. For me, those conversations never go well.

Do you ever want to do a whole day over? Sometimes, I do. I don't want to get trapped in a cycle of the same things over and over again, like Groundhog day. Just a second chance.

And today was one of those days. I want a do-over.

38 Things All About Me!

In honor of this, the day commemorating the start of my 38th year, here are 38 facts, figures, anecdotes and things I want to share about me.

1. I have my Dads shoulders and my Moms hands
2. Many people associate me with penguins and have for decades
3. I am Doc in the Seven Edwards Dwarfs.
4. My first date, when I was 16 years old, was to see the movie K-9 starring a dog and Jim Belushi - a boy named Matt Truitt was my date
5. I once travelled Europe taking pictures of statue butts
6. I know from experience that it is always darkest before the dawn and sometimes making it to dawn is just a matter of riding out an emotion
7. I once ate at the exclusive and somewhat secretive Club 33 in Disneyland. It was buffet day and they had caviar at the buffet and we each had our own pre-printed name cards identifying our seats.
8. I had a strong lisp for almost 9 months when I was 29 years old because I had a wedge glued to the back of my front teeth to correct my bite.
9. I've always said my favorite color is yellow and I don't know why. I don't prefer anything in yellow - not clothes or crayons or paint or paper. Maybe its for my sunny disposition.
10. I am a fish taco connoisseur.
11. I love Little Women. The book, the musical, the story - Louisa May Alcott.
12. My all-time favorite memory of Paris - is playing charades with my sisters and my cute Granny in a little tiny hotel room with a sloping ceiling and old wallpaper - and trying for a really long time to figure out that my Granny was acting out the movie, "Guess whose coming to dinner?"
13. Movie Theaters are my happy place.
14. I will always know the size of a mole - 6.02 X 10^23 because of a someone named Melba who affectionately calls me Toast.
15. I have a Bachelor of Arts in American History from Brigham Young University.
16. I was named the "top girl" of my 9th grade class and got a huge panther trophy and my name on a plaque that haunted my 6 other siblings who attended there after me. Go Poston Panthers!
17. I once swam with Dolphins with my entire family, courtesy of my generous parents at a luxury hotel on Oahu.
18. I used to regularly attend Arena Football games at the America West Arena just to sit and hang out with my friends in a sky box.
19. I can't remember the last time I went on a proper date. (Proper-meaning no graduated hang outs, make outs or some guy randomly picking up the check). Sad, but true.
20. On the eve of my 21st birthday, I slept overnight in Las Vegas and refused to gamble until I was actually 21, much to the annoyance of my boyfriend at the time (and his father).
21. I think my actual favorite color is navy blue or pink or both.
22. Donny & Marie, New Kids on the Block, Billy Joel, Everything But The Girl, NSYNC, Sting, John Mayer - my musical obsessions - chronologically through my life. Don't judge me.
23. I once hiked the Grand Canyon - well, not so much hiked as - helicoptered in - then hiked a mile past Havasupai and then sent our packs out on donkeys and hiked out with just a camel pack. (It was still hard!)
24. I love when we are told in the scriptures to be happy or to cheer up. I love to be reminded of this. I want to be happy. 2 Nephi 10:23 is a favorite.
25. The last few years of my life have been made markedly better by Team Peeps Besties a Hoe and Ms. Law. Cheesey, but true.
26. In 1994, I took a trip to LA with my college roommates and we went to a taping of a sitcom. We got tickets for the same day to visit the sets of: Coach, Mad About You, Full House and this little known show that had only aired twice called Friends - but could only go to one. We chose Full House. Biggest. Regret. Ever.
27. I love listening to DVD commentaries.
28. I have been to the open houses of 8 (Jordan River, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Bountiful, Mt. Timpanogos, Manhatten, Draper, Oquirrh Mountain), attended as a patron in 9 (Mesa, Salt Lake, Los Angeles, Draper, Jordan River, Bountiful, St. George, Mt. Timpanogos, Provo)and been to the dedication of 2 (Jordan River, Draper) TEMPLES.
29. I do mortgage loans for a living and currently do not have a mortgage with the best rate or program on either of the homes I have mortgages on. Oh, the irony.

30. I have personally taken my own pictures of the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory
31. My parents, 3 of my nieces, a nephew and all but 1 and a 1/2 of my siblings have lived in/shared my home in Draper for an extended period of time.
32. I am a beloved niece. I have the most fun with my hilarious Aunt Susan.
33. I love theater! I got to see the Original Cast of Wicked on Broadway in 2004 and Hugh Jackman in his Tony winning role as Peter Allen in the Boy from Oz.
34. I always cry in the movies My Life, Little Women and The American President
35. My favorite restaurant in Utah is The Dodo. In Arizona is Rosas.
36. I have had many opportunities to be an Aunt in many extraordinary ways.
37. I love trivia games. I love to play them and write them and host them.
38. Today, I intend to be happy - even if I still can't park in my garage. I'll get there.

Final Exam: If you can name the 3 late night or daytime talk shows that I have been an audience member of - you really know me - you really do.


Congratulations if you made it to the bottom of this list...its really long. It requires perseverance and a passing interest in my life, so I thank you.

Life is good. Happy Birthday to me!

Jen Vs. Harry Potter

Here's the thing. I'm just an ordinary person, a regular josephine, just a muggle, if you will. And really all I want to do is celebrate my birth - which is a day to be commended. A celebratory day if you will. But..but...but..but.. Harry Potter is having none of it.

Boxing Announcer: In one corner we have: Boy Wizard, adored by millions in print and on screen...Harry Pot-terr! In the other corner we have: Jen

Harry is a WIZARD. I'm not a wizard. I have no special powers. I don't go to Hogwarts. Voldemort isn't stalking me. I'm not friends with Hermione or Ron. My parents weren't killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (but, whoops, I just did!). I don't have an owl or a wand or learn spells. I don't have a cool lightning scar on my head. He wins. In the battle between human and wizard, Wizard wins. Everytime, Wizard Wins.

I'm so glad this is soon to be over. This is the 2nd time in the last 2 years that a Harry Potter movie opens on my Birthday. And three years ago, it was only a few days before and was 'all the talk' on the day of my birth. Why ya gotta hate on me, Harry?

Just in case you were wondering...he was getting it right at first...Harry was showing up in theaters around Thanksgiving normally and leaving me all alone. See...only for that third one, did he even consider showing up near my celebration. Then, the last few years, he's all up in my grill.


Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone 16 November 2001
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 15 November 2002
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 4 June 2004
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 18 November 2005
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 11 July 2007
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 15 July 2009
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt1 9 November 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt2 15 July 2011


2 years ago I embraced it too late - I tried to resist and then at the last minute - I spent the evening with Harry and my good peep E. Wizard won.

This year, the tagline - It All Ends: 7.15! The end of my birthday? No! The end of this nonsense.

Please don't invite me to see it with you, please don't offer to get me tickets, please don't tell me about your HP movie -watching parties all week. Is it so wrong to want to be remembered? Is it so wrong to want to be celebrated? Wizard wins. Wizard wins.

Truth is - I'd pick a movie over a person most days. Truth is - I just want people to remember its my birthday even if they choose Harry over me. Truth is - if Harry wanted to come to my birthday party, I would welcome it and I would dress up with cloak and a wand and everything. Truth is - Its maybe an honor to share this day with him. Truth is - I love Harry Potter. Truth is - I just hate it when he gets all the fuss and I don't. Truth is - Wizard wins for me too.

PS - Emmy nominations out today. Check out my thoughts: Here

Someday my Duke Will Come

My niece, Skylee has her own bedroom in my house. She has fully taken over one of the sets of bunk beds that once slept those precious aliens. We have decorated 'her bathroom' and she has toys and books and clothes and tooth brushes and hair clips and her own space. Its nice that sometimes I can just pick her up from her mom or dad and she can just stay over - no bag necessary. We even have a bedtime ritual. After pajamas and teeth brushing, she takes her place on the top bunk and I lay on the bottom bunk with the lights off and we tell stories. Skylee is 6. The stories that interest her all take place in a land far away with castles and Princesses and fairies and Princes...and one very important element - all of the Stories must have a character named Skylee. The many adventures of Princess Skylee have taken us to many castles with many Princes, Fairy Godmothers, Grand Balls, Beautiful Dresses and Happily Ever Afters. Sometimes, Aunt Jen appears in the Stories - but since I am not Princess Skylees mother, the Queen, I am deemed the Duchess. I am Duchess Jen. Of course, I am the grandest of Duchesses.

In the heat of one of Skylees very detailed and involved stories of make believe - when Duchess Jen again arrived at the Ball alone. I said, "Hey! Where is my Duke?" Skylee hesitated, she said "ummm" a few times and said, "you can't be married!" I protested, and tried to reason with the 6 year old above me - 'but you aren't married and Princess Skylee always has a Prince!'. Then, I asked a very serious question, 'Skylee, don't you want me to get married?' And she said, 'well, ummm, no." She got very quiet as I said - 'Why don't you want me to get married? 'you could be praying to help me find a husband!' And she peeked her head over the edge of the bunk bed and looked down at me and said - 'because I like it just you and me. And if you got married, I wouldn't be able to sleep over. And I what if your husband doesn't like me?!" Ahhh....well, I told sweet, but worried Skylee that all the Dukes in the world would love her and that I could never marry anyone that didn't like her. And I told her we would still have fun all by ourselves, and we would kick my husband out and make a "Girls Only" sign for the door for story time. And she became convinced that it was okay for Duchess Jen to have a Duke.

Story time has become more interesting as now, she lets me pick the name of the Duke vying for Duchess Jen's attention each time and she sometimes has the Prince and Duke fight over Princess Skylee until the Duke meets Duchess Jen. On our last story telling night, my story was about how Princess Skylee lost all of her money and she had to live as a pauper and work in a shoe store to make money to fix up her castle. Princess Skylee had magic skills to find the right and most beautiful shoes for all the people in her town and she changed her stars. Skylee's story had Princess Skylee morphing into a fairy periodically to help a Duke realize that he loved Duchess Jen, and the fairy put a magic spell on the Duke and it accidentally got her precious Prince too - and they both fell in love with Duchess Jen. Oh no! The spell wore off and all was right with the world...but I am in love with her earnest storytelling match making for me..and for herself.

When we were saying prayers that first night I convinced her that a Duke would be a GOOD thing, she offered this, "Please bless Jen to find someone to marry, and bless that he will like her... and me."


Someday my Duke will come and I know he will love Princess Skylee.



PS - I would be totally okay with my Duke looking a little like Flynn Rider.

PPS - Happy Birthday to my lil sister Nichole - who always credits her interest in music and singing to wanting to sing and be like me, but whose development of her amazing vocal instrument has me wanting, now, to be like her.

The Good Samaritan

Some years ago, I was visiting the Eiffel Tower in Paris with my family. Truth be told, I am terrified of heights - and at the time, I was NOT keen on admitting it. (Much more keen now...obviously). So, I 'volunteered' to stay on the ground with my 1 year old niece who was sleeping soundly in her stroller. Everyone left their 'excess' bags and stuff with me - so I was loaded up with stacks of bags and sitting on a bench for a great while. The area around the bottom of the Eiffel Tower is just a big cemented area, surrounded by large grids of grass, bushes and flowers with cement benches randomly throughout. That day there were a great many meandering people entering and exiting the tower and milling about, so I purposely chose a bench on the outskirts of the area, so it was the most quiet.

My cute niece began to stir and I tilted the stroller back and was rocking the stroller gently to keep her sleeping, when I saw them. 3 or 4 hoodlum-esque young men had just entered the area - leather clad, tatooed with some interesting piercings- but the reason I noticed them - was that one of them was carrying a music box on his shoulder and it was blaring (does it date me more to call it a music box or a ghettoblaster???) They were walking right toward me with all their noise and rambunctiousness. I began to scramble to gather everyone's 'stuff' to relocate, when the young Italian (I'm guessing, it sounded like Italian (not French) that they were speaking) man carrying the music, noticed me and the stroller and the stuff and made eye contact with me and immediately reached up and turned off the music and quieted his buddies. He and his friends reverently walked passed us and when they were a good distance away, I saw him look back at us and then reach up and turn his music back on.

I have thought back on this experience many times since it happened and am so moved by this young man, whom I never would have expected to show a gentleness of heart, that I believe I've romanticized the experience some - as now as I reflect back on it, I can almost see that young man smiling at me (though I really don't think he did) as if to say, "I know Jesus Christ. I'm a believer, too" This experience has always reminded me of the parable of the Good Samaritan. I imagine the people of this time in this parable were as surprised (if not more so) to hear that a Samaritan was the one to help the wounded man as I was to have received mercy from an unexpected source.

Last Sunday, we read the parable outloud in both Relief Society and Sunday School. I have been thinking about that kind young hoodlum all week.

Luke 10:25-37

25¶And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit aeternal life?

26He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt alive.

29But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and awounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had bcompassion on him,

34And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took acare of him.

35And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the ahost, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

Thanks to that experience in Paris years ago, When I read this parable, I think of this tender mercy paid to me. And I like to say to myself 'Go and do thou likewise'.

This young man is just one of many who have been the Good Samaritans of my life. Who have been the Good Samaritans in your life?

A Case of the "Misters"

I was putting together some ideas on my "Character Crushes" from TV and Movie land - when this last weekend - I got a case of the "Misters". Mr. Rochester, Mr. Thornton, Mr. Ferras, Mr. (Col) Brandon, Mr. Lafroy, , Mr. Bertram, Mr. Bingely, Mr. (Capt) Wentworth, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley - that is.

Peep and I went to see the new Jane Eyre. I've seen several versions of Jane Eyre. And shhh - don't tell anyone - I've never read it. I enjoyed this version - but I am one to appreciate the modern day nuances of cinematography, film, color - and so, thusly - this one is my favorite. Mia Wasikowska (best known for taking a trip to Wonderland with Johnny Depp) was great as the supposedly "plain" (it always cracks me up when they try to mute the looks of the Hollywood starlets) and poor Jane. But, Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rochester - was, well divine. His voice was mesmerizing for me. I felt happy sinking deeply into another time and fully entrenching in Jane's world. I'm a girl. I like this stuff. Don't judge me. I heard several women at church on Sunday discussing this version of the story - picking it apart for its missed plot points and too-short length. Lovers of the book - all - they felt like it skipped through some of the crucial - Jane-Rochester relationship affirming interactions. Never read it. Didn't know. Thought many of the other movie versions of this story were too long. Loved this one. However, with how much I enjoyed disappearing into this movie created world of years ago - I imagine had I read it - I would have sunk as deeply into all the details that these women were bemoaning were missing. So, I get it. But, I still couldn't hate this telling of this strangely romantic tale. Mr. Rochester never sounded so good.

We headed back to peeps house after the movie - and while I suggested Mario and Toad - she suggested North and South. A 4 hour BBC America TV film of the 22 part serial printed in 1854 in the magazine Household Worlds written by Elizabeth Gaskell and edited by Charles Dickens. Haven't read this novel either (I am a reader...I swear!) and didn't know anything about it. But, 10 minutes in and I was hooked. I was hooked for 4 solid hours! I love these movies. I love in these movies that the be-all, end-all of the romantic experience can be the touch of a hand. Four hours is a long time to wait for some hand holding and a kiss - but, swoon - it was so worth it. Interesting story of industrial England, striking workers, starving poor - an embattled and emblazoned back drop - that just makes it all the more exciting. The same women unhappy with 2011 Jane Eyre, loved North and South save one - who didn't like Richard Armitage - which caused my mouth to gape open. Unbelievable - in this movie he is beautiful - and I love a good complex, thinking, good man. They do not exist in the world I live in - but they do exist in the North and South!




So, yes, all weekend - I had a serious case of the Misters...and I abandoned my Character Crush list for my Misters list. I love these characters and the actors who played them... they are similar in all the best ways. Noble men, respecters of the thinking woman, many of them complex, misunderstood, brooding, gorgeous, courageous, self-sacrificing, good, good, dreamy men - with British accents to boot.

Mr. (Col) Brandon, Sense and Sensibility 1995- Long before Professor Snape appeared on the big screen, Alan Rickman captured the goodness of this patient, devoted man.

Mr. Bertram, Mansfield Park 1999 - Angelina Jolie knew. She was once married to lovely Johnny Lee Miller. He was so charming as Fanny's honest and steadfast, though slow of heart Edmund, it made me mostly breeze right by the fact that Fannie and Edmund are sort of related. The more I think of Mr. Miller, though, the more - I think - he'll always be Eli Stone to me. PS- he also was a fabulous Mr. Knightley in a version of Emma.

Mr. Bingely Pride & Prejudice 2005 - Simon Woods so embodies Mr. Bingelys sweet, unassuming nature - the pairing of Bingely and Jane, the eldest of the Bennett sisters, seem so obvious amidst their very subtle personalities. Simon Woods skin in this movie has a porcelain like beauty.

Mr. Lafroy Becoming Jane2007 - this one is a cheat - I know. Becoming Jane is not some great novel - but it all relates, as the story is a fictional(partially? wholly? who knows)telling of life of Jane Austen. Its still set in the same time period and the characters are still named Mr... and well - I couldn't pass up an opportunity to gush about James McAvoy. I love him. I really love him - even if he did have to wear 3 inch lifts for this movie to be taller than Anne Hathaway. Mr. Lafroy is the least noble of all these Misters as well. He is somewhat forced (by beloved Jane) to choose money over love. But, James McAvoy so convincingly falls in love with Jane that all un-nobleness is forgiven. A good heart break also makes for a good story.

Mr. (Captain) Wentworth Persuasion 1995 - Though he also played Mr. Rochester in a TV version of Jane Eyre, Ciarán Hinds broody aloof-ness - was the perfect fit for the ambitious seaworthy Captain. Always with scour, Hinds is the quintessential Mister in some respects - embodying all the complexities and nobilities of a "Mr." with such ease.

Mr. Ferrars Sense & Sensibility 1995 - Hugh Grant at his bumbling best. With all goodness of heart, Mr. Ferras must resolve his previous engagement before offering his hear to the silent, sensible, but desperately in-love Ms. Elinor Dashwood. Usually, I have such an issue with well known faces in these Mr. roles - I like when they are unknown actors - because they can forever be that character. But, for some reason, Hugh's Mr. Ferras transcends this rule, and his patient bumbling and constant misunderstanding of circumstances makes me love Mr. Ferras even more.


Mr. Knightley Emma 1996 - Jeremy Northam is just lovely, lovely, lovely as the honest and true, noble and kind friend to Emma, Mr. Knightley. "I shall now call you MY Mr. Knightley." Um..yeah, Emma - took the words right out of my mouth.

Mr. Rochester Jane Eyre 2011 - Michael Fassbenders voice is "like butta" to me. And Mr. Rochester is so complex, so many secrets, so dark, so needing to be saved by a woman - Michael Fassbender made me really believe he wanted to tell Jane, and made me overlook - the general ickiness in the crazy, dangerous wife in the house part of this story. In the end, though, he is found to be noble and good and only after he is wounded (read: redeemed) do we find him truly worthy of Jane.

Mr. Thornton North & South 2003 - Richard Armitage come stand sideways in my window so I may forever stare at your profile. He made Mr. Thornton so complex - so clearly troubled, so trying to do the right thing. The slow reveal of his true character in this story is intriguing - and it is easy to understand Margaret's draw to him AND refusal of him all at once. A furrowed brow never looked so good.

Mr. Darcy Pride & Prejudice 2005 (1995?) - There are so many arguments about the best telling of this story. And I gotta say I'm squarely on the Matthew McFadyen team. I love Colin Firth - he is many things to me...Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, Henry Dashwood, Harry, Lord Wessex, George and most recently King George VI (never has there been an Oscar so deserving!) Because of all of this - he can not be my Mr. Darcy. Though he is dreamy as Mr. Darcy, Matthew McFadyen has my heart as his portrayal of this iconic character overtook me! Walking through a field as the sun rises in an ankle-length jacket - wow. He was icy, but still mysterious...and then mysteriously compassionate. It was much easier to understand and replicate the feeling and draw to Mr. Darcy from the book for me with Matthey McFadyen. Mr. Darcy is all of the Misters in some way - misunderstood, brooding, complex, noble, devoted, patient, good and still prideful with prejudice - and somehow perfect.

Oh, great - how will I ever get over this case of the Misters? I need to return back to reality - but seriously - sometimes I don't like it here - anyone got a good book - preferably a period piece?

A Kinder, Gentler Idol

I just wrote a blog entry with the same title on my-much like this one -long neglected, OTHER blog about this years American Idol. But, this entry is about a different idol. My branch puts on an annual Idol competition - complete with a Ryan Seacrest, a panel of judges, audition rounds, commercials, voting and of course the talent. Talent is used loosely here - as merely enjoyable entertainment by anyone willing to try.

I invited my musical snob peep to attend. First, you should know she has an incredible voice. Incredible. I have been to many church events - stake conferences where she has been asked to sing. She knows music. She does. I like to talk American Idol with her - because she is a music snob - she rarely likes anyone (I tend to like most) and really understands the technical aspects of singing - she really appreciates a good key change, a difficult harmony and is very discerning about who is "good". I tend to get wrapped up in the emotion of the moment...and while I am keen to break down the elements that are making me fall in love with a particular contestant - I still fall in momentary love. That kid with turrets - love him! Now, I had never been to one of these branch Idol events. I did not know what to expect. I was not disappointed - and had the unexpected joy of watching my peep squirm, cover her ears and finally surrender to it - and begin suggesting we do a number next year playing our "nose flutes".

Now, the mention of nose flutes might suggest that the show was some sort of silly variety show - but it wasn't. It was all singing save one contestant who played the keyboard and guitar - whose musical genre - I can best describe as akin to John Corbetts character's music in Serendipity. And if you don't know what kind that is, I've just given you a good reason to watch this delightful movie. He was the first number - and peep sent me a text in the middle that said, "is there a time limit"? She had not yet surrendered... the number was long - but the guy could really play and had a vibe all his own. A few contestants sang along with the original singers/tracks of their chosen numbers - my particular row in the crowd discussed charging the stage during a lively Bon Jovi and contestant version of "Its My Life". A few funny characters emerged - Ms. Marmalstein and Hanz - in character and costume and delivered quite entertaining numbers. The sheer irony of a girl singing "I'm just a girl who can't say no" from Oklahoma to a crowd of singles was hilarious. She was good too. There were several truly earnest numbers - a few who accompanied themselves and sang from the piano, and a few willing to tackle the big voices - with a Josh Grobin number and a Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand duet. Many contestants had their nerves get the better of them, many experienced sound and technical difficulties, one even had a wardrobe malfunction. But many didn't - and for each number there was at least one moment when their true talent shone through.

The judges - the judges were amazing. Finding the kindest, gentlest, funniest comments to make despite the performance trials facing a few of the numbers. There was a Simon judge - like Simon only in his tone of delivery - because no one was out to dash dreams here. There was a Paula - kind hearted and silly - and a Randy of sorts - using his "dawg" whenever possible and relying heavily on his personal relationships with the contestants to comment. He was fun to watch during the performances as he and the Paula judge muffled their giggles and did their best (quite unsuccessfully) to hold a straight face during some of the more earnest and unintentionally funny endeavors. And then there was the last judge - she completely transformed herself into a witty, famous persona - with something to say. She committed to the character and her delivery was always funny. Her performance as judge was one of the most entertaining numbers of the night.

The Branch Presidency and their wives did an intermission number titled "Sonny and Cher, Sonny and Cher and Sonny and Cher" complete with costumes and some amazing lip syncing and choreography. Hey, you don't get such entertainment during commercials for TV Idol! It was a sight to behold!

The emcee - the Ryan Seacrest if you will - was a born host. Sticking to the American Idol script - announcing over and over again how much we need "your vote" very Seacrest. She was amazing and brought the house down at the end of the night with a specialized version of "9 to 5". I seriously dug her. She spoke in church once and gave one of those talks I can still remember for its amazing message and her presentation - she is a natural performer. I gotta get to know her. I think we would be fast friends.

Finally, kudos to all the work on this event. They even had pre-taped "audition" rounds set up exactly like idol...with the yellow papers and contestants "going to Hollywood". They had the big microphone image displayed on the back of the stage. The Idol music, their own version of the Idol icon. I noticed it all and took it all in. For a girl who would LOVE to put together an event like this - who would love to put all those details into a night like this - who would love to direct or produce one of the 'talent acts' - I loved it. I appreciated it. I know how much work it was and I was so happy to enjoy it - even my peep got it and eventually came to love it.

All in all - definitely a kinder, gentler idol than the one seen on TV. More a contest of courage dashed with a display and array of talent and entertainment. The winner was humble and happy and quick to get out of the limelight. As all bravery had been used for her performance. Brave and amazing. That is the best description of the talent. Because, tell you what, you wouldn't catch me up there - not even playing the nose flute. Edwards out!

PS- Happy Birthday, Amber! Miss you cute girl! Love you! You'll always be my frog!

Grammar Snob

So, I think I'm a grammar snob. I correct people in my head all the time - but I've been known to make bold corrections in conversation. What a snob I am. Is it better if I always feel bad about needing to do it? I just can't stand it, sometimes - it makes my ears bleed.

Agreeance is not a word. It isn't. It makes me crazy to hear it. And it seems to be becoming its own colloquialism and I'm not sure why. It is not in the classic dictionary (truth be told - it has been added to some online dictionary sites - oh the shame! It is listed in the official "COMMON ERRORS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE" book - online dictionaries (dictionary.com - I mean you) be damned!), and typically when people use it, they are meaning 'agreement' and just getting the word wrong. There are a few blogs out there referencing this term as a new term in the corporate world. Really? I'm guessing someone said it in a big boardroom meeting and no one dared question it. Nevertheless, one of my peeps chose to use it the other day and I asked her to look it up. Now, she knows its not a word - but she also knows it makes me crazy to hear it. Never give those you love such power. Now, she delights in fitting it in wherever possible. Her presentation is priceless. She says it like a cheesy joke, with a pause for the drum beats - ba da bum. And she says it with such pride. It is actually funny. I still hate it.

PLUS, the next day after our word discussion, where we were definitely not in "agreement", another one of my peeps offered that we should 'nip that in the butt'. To which I replied, 'nip it in the what?'. And when she said 'butt' - I started chuckling. I felt like a jerk. Of course, its 'nip it in the bud'. And I had to launch into some explanation about the phrases gardening origins. Snob. Snob. Snob. Don't worry, she gets her revenge regularly, when she, with a sly smile, tells me she is in 'agreeance' with me. And that just 'ain't' right!

PS - Punctuation snobs - who would have a heyday with my writing - I feel your pain!

Blogsample

I spent a lot of time today blog-stalking. Well, maybe not fully stalking - he did advertise a post on facebook...an invitation to all - so maybe just stalking in the sense of he didn't know I was reading all his entries for the past three years. I laughed. I cried. And one specific entry from 2008 changed my perspective of a small struggle I have been experiencing. I read it and I was better for it. Well written, so funny, so sincere, so well-meaning, so observant and an open testimony of Jesus Christ. His beliefs weave seamlessly between college sports, friendly fun and family antics. His words are lovely, of good-report AND praiseworthy. Certainly something to seek after. An amazing Blogsample!

It made me think about blogging - about the things I've chosen to express about my life (though not in a loooong time), and I realized that my testimony of Jesus Christ is fully missing from my writing. I thought of lots of excuses - its so personal, no one wants to read that - and doesn't my testimony shine through some of my actions? Why have I left this out? I read through all of these entries about my 'alien' life - and I kept it so surface and silly - I neglected to mention the sustaining power in the experience. Never once did I mention the many moments I felt attended by angels or the unique and specific and wonderfully calming experience I had in preparation for their arrival - or the sheer volume of charitable people who supported and uplifted me and whose purpose in my life can only be described as they were 'on the Lord's errand'. Such tremendous joy, such tremendous sorrow, such tremendous growth. I felt the buoying and supporting and healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ - in a way I never knew existed. I was blessed - even though I was so sourly not at my best - a great deal of the time. I do look back on that time with some regrets - for specific actions or arguments - and for missing moments and opportunities when I could have done it better. Poor parents - does that ever go away?

In looking back, its results were good - everyone moved on to better and greener pastures - and miracles happened - one after another after another. I know of miracles. I do. I'm still searching and defining the post-alien world - its been 2 and a half years- and that 14 months still stands as the most life changing period of my life - there is definitely a before and after. I wonder for myself in this world that still at times feels 'alien' - if miracles can still happen - if they can still happen to me. I've been privy to great things - its hard to imagine there could still be more - but there has to be. There is. I know I have continued purposes in this life. I know there is a plan. I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World and He is the one to save me from all of the things that bind me. I know His Atonement is not solely about forgiveness, it is about relief and love and sustaining. I feel priviledged to be able to feel and recognize the Spirit of my Heavenly Father. I know how to hear Him. I just have to Listen.

This testimony is what is missing from these musings. I've never been embarassed by this knowledge, in fact, I've always sought to share it and sought to help others and myself understand it. And, thanks to some Facebook advertising and the beautiful musings and messages of a fellow believer - I know I want my life in print to relay and weave my testimony between my pop culture obsessions and my family silliness - as seamlessly as it is truly woven in the fabric of my life.