bul·bous adj \ˈbəl-bəs\
Definition of BULBOUS
1: having a bulb : growing from or bearing bulbs
2: resembling a bulb especially in roundness
First, let me say that I was typing too fast and spelled this word wrong over text last night and got my spelling corrected pretty quickly and succinctly. Confession: I know how to spell this word. I do. I just had never slapped it together with with my beloved burgers before.
Second, can burgers be bulbous? "Resembling a bulb - especially in roundness"? I'd say so..if you stack 'em correctly with all the right goodness.
Third, I hereby decree my love of burgers - all kinds.
I can't remember when it started - but I know it has been helped and perpetuated by my fun family. In 1992, for my birthday, my parents brought home the largest sacks from Wendy's I had ever seen and we all had my favorite fast food meal. Single with cheese, no pickle, no onion. (Really, a number 1 with cheese, with no pickle, no onion). Which in 1992 cost $3.07 for the combo (burger, fries and a soda). In 2011, it costs over $7! (I obviously don't go there much anymore) Ah, inflation.
I have always loved burgers, and if you've seen me, you know - I am both in love with them and hate them - as they are one of the primary reasons - I need and want to lose many, many pounds. They become the bane of my existence as they tempt me continuously when I'm trying to be healthy...and while I do love a good turkey burger..the meatless numbers do NOTHING for me and just make me want the real deal all the more.
There really is great joy for me in a good 'bulbous burger'. Bulbous would indicate all the right fixin's. For most of my life, I thought I hated onions...then one day a few years ago - I suddenly thought they tasted like candies and onions became a new obsession. But, I did have to work through some of the ins and outs of onions - as they are pretty overpowering and can leave lasting marks (read: stinky breath, forever long aftertaste). So, I'm a take it or leave it where onions are concerned on a burger. I am a no on the pickles. I don't hate the taste of dill pickles...ironically, I LOVE DILL (thank you cute Granny for giving me purse size dill for my birthday!). But, I don't love dill pickles either - plus I think the taste can overpower the other phenomenal burger components that can satiate. So a no on dill pickle - but a yes on sweet relish. I do love some relish - especially on a good home grilled burger...especially one grilled by my Dad or my brother-in-law. Thems good stuff.
Ketchup is a definite yes, mustard in small quantities - for same overpower ickiness as pickles and onions. Mayo - help me - yes. Cheese - yes - Cheddar or American or Swiss or Provolone or Mozarella- or even Jack - not blue, though - none of the real stinky cheeses - don't want to just taste cheese. Avocado brings goodness. Mushrooms - yes...now grilled mushrooms and onions...with a few peppers - on a burger - divine! (Grill that overkill quality right out of those onions!) Lettuce - yes. Tomato - yes - qualifier - must be a good tomato - not too squishy or unripe. A bad tomato can sap the joy right out of it.
You really can put just about anything on a burger. If you have ever seen Man vs. Food on the travel channel, you've seen the atrocities and unexpected delights. Adam Richman has eaten everything on a burger across the country. And taken many challenges to do so. In fact when the show came to Salt Lake City, he visited a Crown burger and had a ...Crown Burger. (I'm not a fan of pastrami on burgers...is it a burger? Is it a sandwhich?)One - that always sounded interesting, but so gross: Donuts. Donuts on burgers...hmmm...that maybe an overpower - but maybe not. I have a weird curiosity about it. Maybe someday I'll try it.
There are a ton of websites that you can see all sorts of burger concoctions...I happen to like the burger whisperer. And the top entry on Americas Best Online in the burger section is a place called the Shooting Star Saloon in Huntsville, Utah. Hmmm...maybe I should take a drive to Huntsville.
My favorite burger available in Utah for a great while - has been a chain restaurant. A chain! But, Ruby Tuesdays Classic Cheeseburger - is my kind of perfection. My joy in a bulbous burger! I was so sad when the one near me closed. And the nearest one is now up the canyon, (Read: not going there anytime soon). I recently found a way to enjoy Red Robin burgers...I HATE the Red Robin seasoning - on their fries, in their fry sauce and - on the burgers. If I ask them to hold that seasoning...joy is found! I'm a big NO on the In n Out Burgers - nothin to 'em? No Bulbous there. My parents have had a long obession with Burger King Whoppers and I do enjoy them, but not as much as so many others.
The OLD Challenges: I love a good taste test. Many, many years ago - at least a decade ago...my sister Crystal and I bought every kind of bottled water in the grocery store and had a taste test. We tasted all the water at both room temperature and chilled...to determine our favorite..and of course, my favorite was the most expensive - Evian. But, I created a ranked hierarchy. A few years ago, I travelled all around the Utah valley collecting sugar cookies and had a sugar cookie challenge with my dear Aunt Susan for her birthday. Ah, Hagermans, you have the perfect cookie for me. Last Summer, NatNel and I enjoyed a summer long vanilla ice cream cone challenge and this summer have taken on Sweet Potato Fries. I love a good Taste Test Challenge.
The NEW Challenge: Best Burger within driving distance - for real. Any recommendations? Who is in for the tasting? Who is in for working out with me more - so I don't increase in stature? And I may need to have my cholesterol regularly checked. MMMmmm. The Joy of Bulbous Burgers.
PS - Title and Topic of this post NOT of my choosing - but fitting and I do love burgers! Any other suggestions?
